June 28, 2013.  This was the day they died.

I have played guitar for 20 years now.  I have broken a lot of strings, but never before had I seen a set of strings give so much music before giving that last audible sacrifice, the *pop* of one string that destroys the balance and tune of the rest.

Sure, I had heard stories about guitars whose strings “hadn’t been changed in years”.  But any guitarist who has played on a crusty old set of these strings can attest to the horrid, dull, lifeless, shadow of a sound that accompanies such strings.  Strings like these have remained untouched by human hands since days long past, only to have their metal corroded and rough to the fingers.  These strings are brittle and are likely to break if given a good solid strum, let alone a full step bend.

But these were different

How long my strings had been creating wonderful tones before that fateful day in June, I cannot say exactly.  I never mark my calendar to schedule my next string change.  I simply wait until a string breaks and then replace it.  Most of the time, after a break or two, I will then change the whole set out for sparkly new strings and vibrant tone.  I do however have a benchmark that helps me to know how long these fabled strings were in action.  I know that I used them on a New Year’s Eve gig playing with A Band Of Ninjas.

I also have the vague recollection of having the same strings, at the very least, a month and a half prior to the show on Dec. 31, 2012.  But again, I don’t have a date marked.  In the case of the guitar strings that had been stored, unplayed for years, they were probably played sporadically by a once-practicing beginning guitarist who lost interest and stowed the instrument.  My strings were played every week without exception for over 7 months!  I even cut and released an album with those strings, well after they had been beaten and stretched for 4 months or more.  In addition to all of the Ninjas shows, there was church band practice and Sunday morning worship, because of the regularity of these events, it’s possible to quantify to some degree the amount of time logged playing these strings.  This metric seems more important than simply how long the strings had been “strung” for.

It’s not uncommon for the Ninjas to perform 5 or 6 times in a month, but things had been slow at the beginning of the year.  Because of this, I will use conservative estimates to determine the play time of the strings of legend:

I will use a low-end estimate of 3 shows per month at 7 months, each at three x 45 minute sets or longer.

(3 x 7)*(3 x 45) = 2835 minutes of play time with A Band Of Ninjas

Then there is church music.  I regularly practice and play with a local church band.  I will figure I play 3 Thursday night practices a month for 7 months, each at total playing time of 20 minutes (even though we hang out for like an hour and a half). Then there is Sunday morning practice and Sunday worship service.

(3 x 7)*20 = 420 minutes (Thursday night practices)

(3 x 7)*20 = 420 minutes (Sunday morning practices)

(3 x 7)*15 = 315 minutes (Sunday worship service)

There is also time for recording music projects and playing for personal pleasure, or just jamming with others.  I can’t even begin to account for that time.  But even without it, adding up the conservative estimates for actual playing time, we get 3990 minutes of vibrating strings.  That’s 66 and a half hours of (hard) strumming, bends, hammer-ons, recordings, jams, performances, worshipping.  All without a single string breakage.  On an acoustic guitar.

How to extend the life of your strings

I use Elixir Polyweb Extra Light guitar strings, and I think that explains how my guitar tone was still great after well over 60 hours of play time.  After every play session, I wipe down my guitar strings to remove as much sweat and oil as I can.  I also periodically check the saddle of my guitar to make sure there are no burrs that could be wearing away at my strings.  Another good trick is to look at where the string broke.  If it breaks mid-length, this could mean a sharp fret wire that could use a filing.  If the string breaks near the nut or saddle, then just make sure that there are no sharp edges cutting into your strings, if there are, sand them down a bit.

And if you want to try my favorite acoustic guitar strings, get some here:

Muffin Pans!!  Look at that awful thing!  Each cup has the potential to hold oil, bread, cheese, fruit sauce.  Whatever you are baking in there is gonna leave some residue on the sidewalls of these cups.  But then there is, for some reason, a little ridge around each cup that allows for little bitty food to get stuck in there too.  If that happens, you are pretty much guaranteed to be using your fingernail to clean it out.  It’s as if this thing were designed by some kitchen sadist.

If it weren’t enough that the food gets stuck in there, there is the necessary but unwanted wrist workout you will inevitably get from twisting and scrubbing each cup.  Thank you instant Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.  Cleaning any one of these cups would be unpleasant, multiply that by 12 to understand the reality that hits you at dishwashing time.  Seriously, there must be some “muffin pan chisel” accessory (that we don’t own) for cleaning these.

Then there is rinsing the stupid thing.  Thanks to the design of muffin pans coupled with the laws of physics, there is practically no way to drain one cup without dumping the soapy water contents into every other cup in the pan.  Thanks for the lesson on futility muffin pan maker!

Muffin Pans should cost a buck and be disposable.  That’s really the only way I ever see myself making cupcakes.